#effort & proper learning
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suuuuper late pocky day akeshus ;w;
#akeshu#p5r#persona#art tag#i have been sooo tired for the past two weeks#this took so long akiren's hair changes partway through LOL#anyway he had it coming yanno#curiosity almost killed the cat :3c#is there even a way to win or lose ??#idk but these two dorks will make it competitive#anyway i think they both won :)))#can you guys tell which frame i put the most effort into HAHA#please pause to read the text as you need... it is... fast#there's not really a proper ending and i kinda messed up the timing to hold the last frame#but i am not remaking this again#but i DID learn that blender is goated#in my first draft i had a kabedon but that was taking too much effort to work out LOL#also sorry for magic pocky that changes sizes every frame
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Doodle request if you would like to!! Nagito tried to brush his hair out and style it somehow but now Hajime has to help him untangle 3+ combs out of it
somebody get this girlie a leave in conditioner and instructions on how to care for curls
#ask#martzipan#the-invincible-spank-daddy#fuck it we can maintag low effort doodles. free country#nagito komaeda#hajime hinata#komahina#this actually ties into a hc of mine. that kmda's hair was not always curly#they're chemo curls!! and as such he didn't grow up with them#so he. does not know how to take care of his hair#he uh. for sure needs to be taught about conditioner#(TBF HOSPITALS JUST DON'T GET YOU CONDITIONER SO LIKE. WAUGH <- has underconditioned hair rn)#anyways. i bet hajime helps him learn how to take proper care of his hair lmao
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i love it when two characters hurt each other dont get me wrong but i also think its incredibly effective for them to treat each other with care when their lives have been so cruel to them idk 🧍🏽
#radical idea. it would take a lot of effort to learn how to be kind without a proper guide but that just makes it all the more cathartic#d talks#i mean radical idea for them. breaking the cycle.
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"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid
#delete later#shitpost#vocaloid#?? idk i might keep it up. yes ik turning off rbs is a thing now technically but i always keep forgetting and also naaaah.#i might go edit proper tags in later just bc i dont this to show up in main pages but i needdddddd the organization on here#i made this a while back procrastinating on a linguistics reading and then never posted it#AND THE CIRCLE IS COMPLETE BC IM POSTING IT NOW WHILE PROCRASTINATING ON ANOTHER LINGUISTICS READING LMAOO#dudeee i gotta lock in. oh my god. its so bad up in here triple assault. i cant focus on SHIT. WHY DO I ALWAYS GET IDEAS WHEN IM BUSY AHGHH#this might be revealing a bit too much info but pls this is legit what happened LMAOO 😭🥴#we're starting ipa alphabet stuff now and im like 'hey i already know you...' from phoneme fuckery ive had to do for voca shitposts#knowing linguistics is cool cause u get to dissect what makes languages work and i thought that'd be genuinely helpful for things#like i plan to do more english/spanish translation work specifically so yuh. but also I KNOW internally in my heart...#despite trying to give the professional justifications I KNOW my stupid ass is secretly just absorbing all this knowledge for voca purposes#my brand of shitposting goes against the very origin of the word since 'shitposting' originally refers to very low effort low quality memes#so there's been a semantic shift in definition even outside of mine but i still think its really funny. i put a lot of genuine hard work#into making stupid little jokes to amuse primarily myself and maybe anyone else who finds it on the internet. so yea#no but genuinely though its unironically incredible how much shit i've learned direct or indirectly for vocaloid shitposting purposes
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i Love pkmn but i love it as a worldbuild. when i play the game its just bc i like exploring the world and the critters. and i feel like everyone else who likes pkmn are all ppl who Love the games and competitive parts of it. so i feel a little embarrassed about not being a game-lover and competition-lover... i simply enjoy the world and the silly creatures 😭😭
#i dont talk about pkmn very much outside of this space and even here i just talk abt Guz mostly#bc i always worry ppl are going to think im silly (derogatory) for not being a proper gamer fjdkdl#when i was a kid i was able to remember the pkmn names a lot more and i probably could've learned the type matchups#but i didnt have a chance to play the games (bc of abuse and misogyny lol) so i couldn't like... learn stuff as a kid when i actually-#-had a functional memory still 😭😭 once i hit 15 i started losing my memory capabilities#and i only started playing a little bit when i was 16 so rest in shit LOL#(also the misogyny thing is just that my brothers were allowed to play video games but i wasnt bc i was a girl lmfao)#I JUST FEEL EMBARRASSED i wish i could be a Gamer™ but I'm just. not good at it.#i Could be good if i rly put in a bunch of effort but like... i got better things to do and things i care about more sbdjdkl#AUUUGHHH sorry for this im just embarrassed all of a sudden abt this djfkdl#and also worry that ppl are going to expect me to be Good at this or smth but yall im rly not fjdkdl i just sort of brute force my way thru#all the battles and everything fnfkdl i use almost No strategy fjdkdl i prefer offensive moves over defensive moves even#its just... im not good at this stuff dhdkdl#dandy.cmd#dandy.exe#vent //
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Do you know how to pray the Mojubá? Do you know how to pray in the morning? To greet the new day that arrives, asking for the blessing of your mother, father, mother of saint, of your ancestors, etc? It's important for us to have a repertoire of our own prayers, our people don't need to keep repeating the catechesis, for our Ancestors it was a mandatory act of colonization [...] I’m going to do a little bit of Ibase for you to add to your repertoire [...] so you can draw upon your own tradition. "I salute Olodumare, Lord of the day, I salute the East, I salute the West, I salute the North, I salute the South, I salute the Ancestors, I salute my Father, I salute my Mother, I salute my Father of Saint, I salute my Mother of Saint, I salute my Eldest Guide, I salute my Community, I salute my Head (Orí, Crown), I salute Oshún sengese oloya hun, I salute Yemoya Lady of the River Ogun, I salute Ogum Lord of the Universe, I salute Oya Oriri, I salute Exú lalu ogiri oko, I salute Xangó the one who bears the crown, I salute all Orixás, every single one of them, to them I give my salutations and reverence. Axé." That is the translation.
Sourced from @ sueidekinte on TikTok. Translated by me.
#prayers#Blood and Water#Ahosigbe#tiktok#candomblé#macumba#yoruba#ioruba#listen to it !!! it's absolutely the most beautiful thing in the world to hear ioruba like that#most people don't know how to correctly pronounce it#most of the prayers my family has are in congo languages but we also have some ioruba and other languages#and it's common for different traditions in the diaspora to pronounce or spell things slightly differently#but even so#that doesn't mean we shouldn't make an effort to pronounce our prayers as best as possible#that's how we've been able to keep these for so long#effort & proper learning#no effort just erodes them faster and that's how you end up loosing them
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Not being good at art is the most frustrating thing in the world
#im such an imaginative person#i have ideas for characters and creatures and landscapes and animations#but no matter how vividly i visualise them my hands cannot replicate it#and the fact that it would take years of practice to draw something i can picture right now pisses me off so much#all of these amazing ideas only exist in my head and not being able to have a proper visual of them makes me so angry#i know art takes a lot of time and effort and practice#but its so so so so frustrating in a way that i cant totally put into words#im willing to put the effort in#but it really frustrates me that i could practice for weeks and see only a tiny bit of progress#i think this is why i struggle to learn new skills#my brain knows the theory but it doesn't know how to put that in to practice#i know how to do it but at the same time i cant#god i hate this#i wish id gotten into art when i was young like my parents and sister#their so incredibly talented and i know it took a lot of work for all of them to be that talented#im a good writer but its so frustrating that i cant have a visual representation of my characters and creatures and world#in a way that satisfies me#anyway thats my rant about art sorry#edit: nearly started crying trying to draw a simple face shape so thats fun
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oh my FUCKING shit , I am about to absolutely fucking *punt* this group of boys in my sign language class holy fucking hell .
#just blahs#okay this may just be bcs i havent ever really seen ableism irl#but legitimately what the fuck#the teacher for my sign class is completly deaf right ? and there's these three guys in the back corner who are literally just .#the single most offensive people i have ever had the displeasure to exist in the same space as#the teacher will teach us smthin about deaf culture and they'll fully just be like 'oh haha why don't they just say it ?'#or today ??? as soon as shes not looking at them theyll just yell insults at her .#and then obviously *she can't hear them bcs shes **deaf*** and one of em will do the dumb highschool boy laugh like 'haha yell it louder'#aND IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO CHUCK MY PENCIL AT THESE ABLELIST PEICES OF SHIT#or theyll mock the way she talks or theyll just blatantly ignore what shes trying to teach#and my friend who knows a bit of sign bcs her dads deaf was obv fast at spelling her name and one of em calls her a tryhard#because shes actually putting effort into this class .#like literally what the hell is wrong with you . this isnt a required class . you *chose* to be here so shut the fuck up#and i dont even know what the proper thing to do here is . like . do i tell the teacher those boys over there are being dicks ?#do i just walk my 5'0 ass all the way across the class to smack them upside the hesd ?#do i throw the pencil at them ?#i dont know what im supposed to do here but FUCK im so pissed off about this#im literally just trying to learn this language and they are making it so difficult bcs every other minute theyre over there yelling#fucking hell#ableism#anyways .
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hello. does anyone have alternatives to the owl app for pretending to learn french?
#emphasis on pretending to learn. i don't have the brain space or time to make a proper effort but small practice would be fun#ought to kill my 1000 day streak. the roskomnadzor thing is the last drop. fucking cowards#liz talks
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Sometimes I think about Gaelan’s backstory and get Emotional
#dragonfable#ESPECIALLY rn with Outpost Yeden and the Magesters all around#thinking about how young Gaelan must have been when he made his choice#when he looked at the Ignominous and said No. No I Don't Care What Anyone Says This Is WRONG And I Will NOT Be Part Of It#(we know that part of his reasoning was not wanting to be stuck in one place the rest of his life)#(but he mentions the ingominous thing TWICE)#(so to that reads as it having been the more important factor)#forced to flee his homeland. not even able to let his family know he was ALIVE#the fact we KNOW it's not just the Ignominous but the ENTIRE Imperial way of life he's rejecting#because he's ACTIVELY putting effort into trying to unlearn his internalised biases#the Shapeless Empire does as empires do and says that We Are The Best And Our Way Of Life Is The Only Proper Way#and Gaelan said I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE'S WAYS OF LIFE#he's a good character is what I'm saying
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Aw man, just reread my document I wrote on my speculation on how the metagene works & how modern DC could rewrite it to being a result of retroviruses & transposons and man, I really wish I finished that post.
Unfortunately, the reason I stopped was explaining it all down to the point where someone with little genetic knowledge could still understand it proved to be too lengthy and long winded of a task.
Maybe one day I’ll pour myself back into research & finish that speculative paper. Bc I had a whole fun idea that relied on that background information that was about the Daily Planet reporting on the discovery of an entire city of metas with similar meta abilities. The town faced such high levels of radiation and contamination, only the population with the meta gene survived:(
#The meta ability was just super perfect cell replication.#No changes outward. They appear perfectly normal#to be clear. ppl still age. the power is just that their cells are super good at replicating the way they’re meant to#Zero chance of tumors or damaged DNA due to the radiation because their meta ability just resumes them to their previous state.#the city blows up afterward in the news cycle due to people trying to go there so they don’t die from cancer.#and don’t have a risk of cancer BUT THE CITY IS STILL IRRADIATED AS HELL AND THE PPL THAT ENTER CANNOT LEAVE#DUE TO THEM BECOMING SO RADIOACTIVE THEYRE A HAZARD TO BE CLOSE TO WITHOUT PPE#i just thought it was such a fun idea and me being me I overthink the shit outta things & made it super long and overcomplicated#because I wanted people to also learn what retroviruses & transposons were bc they’re cool as hell#and by the time I wrote 5K words on it#I didn’t want to take the shortcut and just embed other ppl’s videos explaining it bc I had already put too much effort into it#for me to delete that research#bones speaks#the cause? the city was built ontop a large kryptonite meteor.#and someone (cough cough LexCorp. but no one actually has enough legal proof to say it’s them)#and when it’s investigated. it appears that someone (cough cough LexCorp. there’s not any legal proof that can pin it on them.#so lexcorp once again escapes scott free without evidence of villany)#has been digging tunnels under the city and excavating it. the excavation not following proper mining protocols caused the city’s ground#and water supply to become extremely irradiated to the point where it’s like when ppl were just eating & drinking uranium products.#actually imma stop myself here & make this it’s own post#anyways. the radioactive bit gets figured out due to the poorly constructed tunnels collapsing and the city conducting an investigation#leading to a ‘oh shit. the Geiger counter is saying this sinkhole is Super radioactive.’#to ‘HOLY SHIT THATS THE ENTIRE TOWN’#to ‘wait fuck how are we still alive? to ‘a weirdly high percentage of folks in the town had metagenes so not a super significant amount#of ppl has died from abnormal lookin cancer.’ to ‘oh my god everyone that doesn’t have the meta gene here is slowly dying get them Out Now’#bones writes in the tags#anyways. that’s kinda the story#I’ll rewrite the tags into a proper post and see if I can revise it so my paper isn’t needed to make some plot points work#bc it’s a Far simpler explanation than the one I wrote in the doc so I’ll base it off of this version instead
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💭
#what I've learned over the last couple of months is that I would actually like people to treat me like an adult#like a proper adult and not a 20-year-old#yes I'm an idiot but I'm not stupid or wholly incompetent#and also I'm nearly 30 ok?#and I would like just a smidge of respect as opposed to condescension#I don't think it's too much to ask#(good morning I'm still rankled over my boss being SUPER condescending and...I dunno belittling? yesterday)#(in an obvious effort to suck up)#(and side note there is a literal sign on the office door saying to end phone calls before entering and guess what#someone here to meet with my boss is standing in my lobby on a personal call)#sorry I just feel like complaining today it'll pass soon#it's almost Christmas after all#thank you everyone for bearing with me I truly do appreciate it and I love you all you are the best#in better news it's been about a year since my cats got sick! kind of random but I was thinking about it earlier#very glad that's finally over
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being a university instructor is actually really hard bc I want nothing more than to be nice and accommodating and understanding with my students, but like. baby I can lead a horse to water but I can't make it drink!!
#my class grades are essentially effort based too#im not grading students on the 'goodness' of their writing but rather marking their assignments complete or incomplete#based on if they followed the proper format of the assignment#and then i give feedback and give all students an opportunity to revise and resubmit for a complete grade#and final course grades are based on grading contracts so students decide what grade they wanna work towards#and then complete the assignments associated with that grade#and honestly i am very lax with my grading and feedback#the only way to fail this course is to turn nothing in#but like a fifth or sixth of my class is failing rn bc they havent turned anything in despite me trying to work with them#and it's like. i feel bad but having them email me NOW with less than 2 wks left of the semester asking how they can pass the class#is infuriating tbh!!#listen im just one person with my own life and my own struggles and my own classes to deal with#ive tried all semester to help you#'how can i pass your class??'#baby youre not gonna#i know most of my students are first semester college freshmen#but its like youre an adult learn how to take care of your shit#ive tried holding your hand throughout the entire semester to get you to pass#and youve rejected it#you made your bed you better lie in it
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👋 2022
#I won’t go into detail about real life except that it was. well. a Trip#learned some things went through things. the year of baby steps I guess#BUT I wanna write some thoughts about my 2022 tumblr experience down#it was… also quite a Trip#positive first: learned to stay off this site when necessary! very important mental-health wise#my most used tag this year was my track tag! shoutout to everyone who’s been using it#you bring me much joy by sharing your creations with me. I appreciate it 🤍#another shoutout to all the incredibly lovely people who’ve come to my inbox this year#I’ve been very lucky in that regard. 98% of my anons have been the kindest sweetest most eloquent people#and I’m happy to have been able to have super interesting thoughtful and respectful discussions from time to time#okay what else. oh HIGHLIGHT of my year here – my birthday ADFFGHJ#I felt so so so spoiled and couldn’t (still can’t) believe the amount of spectacular gif(t)s I got. made me feel stupidly happy oh my god#I learned a lot of new skills and techniques for gfx making. kept experimenting with different styles which has been fun!#gif making has turned more into a relaxing activity than something that makes me feel pressured and anxious#I dialed it down a bit compared to last year and I think that was a good decision as well#as for not so positive things. well.#of course there are the usual/ general ‘complaints’ like lack in interaction and the like#got my first proper anon hate in November. that was something#HUGE lesson I learned this year: just because someone states in their bio that they’re adults doesn’t mean they act like ones <3#people can be very childish ruthless and simply not worth one’s effort#and a last thing that fits quite well to that: 9 out of 10 people do not care about you. not about your time and effort you put in content#not about whether you’re online or not. not about how you might feel when they say and do certain things#I think I need to learn how to embrace this kind of insignificance. be more audacious. find validation within myself#okay I’ll stop now#I wanna say thank you to all the lovely people who made this year on tumblr more enjoyable and who truly brighten the place up for me#I love you lots and wish you all the best for 2023#it’s gonna be a hard year for me with lots of challenges and changes#and it’s nice to have this little space here where you can escape to from time to time#mwah. smooches to all of you. happy new year <3
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so I picked up the piano again after not touching it for a couple of years. I never properly learned music theory – I know a couple of basics, but not nearly enough – and I've made up my mind to properly learn the basics and maybe more. I know I might not need deep knowledge of music theory to learn a couple of songs on the piano but I am unable to half ass things lmao and also I want to properly do this, I think it's a beautiful instrument and it's worth the mental effort lol. but as with learning anything through the internet I'm preparing myself for a lot of confusion before it all becomes clear
#like i dont even have a proper piano it's almost a toy i got when i was like. 11 and decided i want to learn to play#which im very grateful i made that decision but also#i have to get over this thing. this thing of needing to master everything in order to enjoy it#i wont be a pianist. i dont want to. but a part of me is always going to br frustrsted i never got a proper music education#which is stupid and not the point of a hobby at all#anyone could learn to play at any age#and i actually have a good head start#i just. get overwhelmed. by things im supposed to enjoy.#but i want to make the effort to take things slow and play at my own pace#my sight reading is horrible for example it takes me forever to read the notes and i dont know them all by heart#i literally have to count up from middle c with a pencil on the sheet lmao#but also. it really is fun. and its so nice to know i can create this music.#and its gonna give me something to learn outside of uni#which starts in less than a week#so. there's that.#mine.txt
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It’s all “take care of your inner child!! Treat them the way you wanted to be treated years ago and it’ll help you heal!!” until said inner child is throwing a tantrum about having to go eat dinner
#look. I’m tired. I’m on my period. I’m wound up as hell in more ways than one#my bed is safe and warm and the kitchen is cold and too far away#I want to curl up and sleep until april#but#I also haven’t eaten in 14 hours#I might not feel hunger at all but if I don’t go eat my evening will become 10x more miserable#I’ve had more than my fair share of miserable evenings recently thank you very much#but in order to eat I have to cook and I don’t wanna#(that’s where the inner child who was never taught chores or responsibilities comes in)#I know that really I can just boil dumplings and it’d take me 10 minutes at most#0 effort maximum reward#but I despise cooking in any iteration and some days can’t be forced into it at gunpoint#but there’s only so many times I can grab snacks and pretend it’s a proper meal#I already am very much ignoring 70% of food groups the least I can do is eat something that qualifies as real food#not crisps or pretzels or biscuits#if you’re wondering whether or not I’m procrastinating by writing all this out. yes. yes I am#these are the only times I wish I was back with my mom#3-4 full meals a day and I didn’t have to lift a finger#learned helplessness go brr
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